Decision Making

Tonight I made a decision.  Where I typically think about the decision I need to make, tonight I actually made the decision.  Is such a simple concept as deciding on something really warrant a blog post?  Indeed, it does.

After putting Hannah to bed, I joined Craig in the garage for a "jam session".  This is a mix between favorite guitar tunes and debriefing days.  Great as these evening may be, there is still a house to keep, lunches to prepare, and we can't forget the coffee.  So tonight, I made the decision to leave my entertainer and dip my hands into a little soap.  I knew what I needed to do in order to follow through with my commitment to having a healthy and happy family.  Though what I wanted to do was listen to Craig's guitar and talk about exciting ideas.  However, the dishes would need to be washed, tonight. Preparing for lunches the night before is worth it in the morning.  Awaking to the smell of coffee is preferable to making coffee in the morning.  Though this reality withdrew me from the "jam session," I was ultimately able to act in a way that is in accordance with what I value. I value preparation and cleanliness, I decided to prepare and clean.

The decision to do act in this way is the hardest step.  Yet, I have found, there is great reward in decision making.  A kind of strength comes over the mind when it is able to make a decision, to take something as its own.  Then there is the freedom that comes from deciding to live aligned to the values you hold within.

On what have you decided lately?

Family Values

Do a Google search for the title. Nothing. You get the last Korn tour, a few polarizing "Family Values" websites, and then it is essentially web space. In a world gasping from information overload where does the family lie?

Over the last decade the family has been all but destroyed by feminism (I'm not a chauvinist), the media, pop culture, and a host of other sources. But, is there not still a yearning by a big pool of folks who want to know what it means to be a family in this era? Are there still not young start-ups and re-kindled spirits who are seeking to know how to build upon their love, their virtues, and their dreams together?

We think there is. We believe the family is not dead, but maybe it just lacking the insight and encouragement on how to engage in the modern world.

What do you think?

Economy of Favors

As more and more of us find ourselves in a job providing a service of one sort, or another, it becomes highly important that we recognize who is actually doing the favor in the transaction. The look and attitude I receive from the lady buzzing my hair at Great Clips often makes me feel that she is doing me the favor, but when I go for a massage at a more high-end joint the impression inverses.

Things break apart when both parties feel they are doing the other a favor, both leave feeling that something is owed them in the future. Conversely, things go extremely well when both parties feel like the other is doing them a favor, both leave feeling as if the transaction increased, or gave them, their value.

The Solution for Great Clips: Great hair stylist realize that their customers are doing them a favor by showing up, appreciating their talent, and paying their money. Great consumers realize that the hair stylist has worked long and hard on her talent, and that they receive the favor of their utmost attention to detail and dedication. Both people win.

Who does the favors in your profession?

Moving On

250 years ago a man named Adam Smith dropped the following into the mind of the American people, "Make more things, make more people happy." How happy are we with our things? Do you choose what is available, or what defines you?

Our argument is that we have shifted. That is, shifted in thought about what brings us the most pleasure.  We now live in an economy partially, or majorly, filled with artisans.  Consumers, today, beg to be different. That it is ART that matters, not price; That you want something that defines YOU.

What do YOU think?

Appreciate Someone Today

Life, lately, has been a string of busy and full days.  With our "onto the next one" pace it is easy to forget to stop and say, "I love you and I appreciate you."  So, I am taking the time now to say, to you Craig, I love you and I appreciate you.  Without you, we would not be where we are today.  Without you, our family would be incomplete.  Without you, my days would be less full.  Thank you for being a wonderful father and best friend.  Thank you for living on purpose.  Thank you for being you.  I love you more than itunes loves Apple.  You are an inspiration.

So, those who are checking this out today, I ask that you call someone up, or text them if thats what you do, and tell them you appreciate them.  An act of kindness and kind words can go a long way.

Many blessings.

It's All About YOU!

I want to thank Maegan Balzer for pointing this out to me, and being the inspiration behind the graph above.

Marketing, Blogging, or Creating period should be about one thing: YOU! Your time is limited and if I want you to read my blog, which I write to inspire YOUR creativity, then I should do it in a manner that fits your lifestyle. Maegan pointed out that my blog, while she liked it, was too long and she was uninterested after 2 paragraphs. The graph above, while silly looking, portrays that very contradiction between what I thought was useful and what an audience really wants.

Be good at giving and you will get everything you want. 

This is a test

I am trying to hook this up to my Facebook

You

If art is a human connection that causes someone to change their mind. How do you create art?

Being Last, First

When it comes to trying new things why do we expect to be perfect the first go around? History is wrought with stories of the uber successful failing hard and often before they achieved their great triumph. George Washington lost many battles, many men, and many supporters before he ultimately won the admiration of a new country, and an old world. Lance Armstrong defeated testicular cancer before he went on to win 7 Tour De France races. Abraham Lincoln failed as a businessman, a senator, and a congressman, before ultimately living to be one of the most revered leaders of our time.

It is the courage to decide, commit, and then succeed that we must learn to accept. The human element is capable of so much greatness if we will only pursue it in its proper course. Believe that you can, commit to its practice, and patiently harbor its success.

When The Mighty Fall

There is always strange looks given when I tell people that their business should be a means of "worship" a form of "giving" or a means of "gifting." The reply is always that the purpose of business is for the maximizing profit with little regard to anything else. As the economy continues to sour we see many examples of the Mighty Falling, of the greed that drove some to maximize profits being the detriment of their own crooked philosophy.

I by no means shun the idea of making profit, I actually believe giving increases it, but I cast aside the notion that business is born solely for the owners benefit. There is nothing noble about getting rich by sacrificing others. The servant leader places the welfare of all of those involved in his business stream into the consciousness of his business decisions. Because of this his decisions are more clear, more accurate, more sincere, more visionary, and do not get distorted by his unyielding temperament for purely personal gain.

Sure this makes business more challenging. But it makes the profit more rewarding. How long will we strive for profit at the sake of our health, our values, our religion, and our humanity?

Constant Creation

In a world filled with choices and endless options it is easy to get paralyzed in the decision of what to do. But, few things can serve better to that necessary momentum required for achieving our dreams than the habit of daily re-creation. Building into our routines things which allow us to re-create ourselves daily help us to build momentum and keep striving to that ultimate peak.

Things like exercise, reading, teaching, and listening are all habits, which when built into our routine, allow us to grow as individuals, and in most cases the effect is immediate. Serving that desire for immediate gratification, which is so pressing these days, and simultaneously serving our long term success can be a wonderful tool for anybody struggling to make the progress they desire.

Put things in your routine that allow for re-creation naturally, and you will find it easier to create the ART which is your ultimate aim. Great ideas most often come when serving some motive HIGHER than ourselves, and when we are doing the things proper to a healthy survival.

Re-create yourself today!

Craig

Defending Mediocrity is So Exhausting!

      Why do we fight so hard for what used to work, for what always has been, and for the "just the way it is?" It seems that some things, the principles, are tried and true, and can be trusted to produce the desired results.  But, the process by which we go about implementing those principles surely must change according to the times. How much do we have to hear about the way Health care used to be? How often do we have to defend the way this job used to be? Your job is going to change, this means you must change too.

      Change is natural and required for growth. We must accept the uncomfortable position that is inherit in our quest to be better. Trying news methods is tiring, but rewarding. Defending your status-quo, your mediocrity, is exhausting and unproductive. Strive to be great. Search for new ways. Be open to change and challenge. Deny the race to the bottom, run the race to the top.

Craig

With My Own Two Hands (and the help of Kohna and the Banana)

Well, today I finally put flowers in the front flower bed.  For months now I had found any excuse to not plant anything there, while wanting to the entire time.  Why?  It sounds silly, but I think it was a fear of failure.  I certainly do not have a thumb of green, but I love digging, planting, and adding a little color to my world.  Nevertheless, I kept putting off getting flowers because I was afraid it wouldn't look great or I'd kill yet another pallet of foliage.  Then, like the sweet breeze of the mornings of late, a wave of confidence swept over me.  So what if my little arrangement doesn't make the front page of Home and Garden magazine or isn't awarded with Waxahachie's Yard-of-the Month prize?  It looks great to me and the joy I received planting each plant with Kohna on her back chewing her tire and Hannah gazing at me in her swing is the best prize possible.

I have been experiencing some revelations lately.  I am starting to look at things in a brighter light.  It is funny how that happens.  We can try to make certain changes in our lives and seek enlightenment.  But truth can come when we least expect it and I think that is when we are the most open to accept it.  Forcing  philosophies is no bueno and will result in a surface level of understanding. Yet, when you finally see that certain something, that distant thought that instantly becomes clear, the truth that you so longed to discover, when you finally feel it for yourself and own that reality, Life becomes real.  Life becomes yours.

So by taking action and getting those soil ornaments into the ground, I discovered something within me.  The fear of failure that had tried so hard to embed its roots in me got uprooted today and replaced with the strength of the most splendid blossom.  The simple flower bed in our front yard changed my outlook today.  Funny how those life changing occurrences can come in the most unexpected forms.  If there is something that you have been wanting to do, but have too often found an excuse for, GO DO IT!  Take a step of action and GO DO IT!  Kick Resistance in the ass and go do the things you have longed to do.  Don't let those fearful thoughts keep you from doing something you want to do and living your life.  Even if no one else wants to do it or doesn't think its that important, if you want it, go get it.  And then tell the world about your discovery.

I Don't Need NO Hard Hat!!!

         The other day at work I was asked by a customer why I wore a hard hat, being that I work in a scrap yard I thought the answer obvious until he furthered the question by pointing out that I was the only "Manager" that wore a hat. So, I thought the better question was to ask why the other managers did not wear a hard hat in what is no doubt a dangerous place for your noggin. The answer I received is the topic of this blog.

" I don't need no hard hat. I have been working here 20 years and have never been hit in the head before, so I don't need a hard hat."

       So, do we only wear a helmet after we have been hit in the head with a piece of flying iron? Is not the point of a helmet to prevent ANY injuries, not to prevent ANOTHER injury. Let me put this type of logic into some other situations, and you see for yourself how much sense they make.

"I dont need to save for no emergencies. I have been on my own for 20 years and never had an emergency, so I don't need to save for one now."

"I don't need to eat right or exercise. I have been eating like this for 20 years and never had a heart attack, so I don't need to eat right or exercise now."

       Do you see what I mean? Why do we so often use our past to justify our behaviors towards the future? Sure, there are times to use past information to build towards a better tomorrow, but there are also a whole bunch of times that tomorrow would be better if we changed the habits and opinions that were formed in the past. 

       It seems that a lot of our major problems stem from this very type of thinking, and while it is not a cure-all by any stretch, it is a start. Just because our forefathers owned slaves and believed that colored men were less human than white men does not mean that that is how we should believe today. Just because our grandparents ate bacon and chicken-fried steak everyday and lived to be 90 does not mean it will work out that way for you. If we would take a little time to prepare for the future in the present we may find that our future hold far greater things than the status-quo that we so often live in.

Peace

Craig

Silence -Continuing Our Virtues Series

Benjamin’s Rule:

            “Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself.  Avoid trifling conversation.”

The great thing about Ben’s virtues is their simplicity.   I think the best way to discuss this topic is to take each segment of his rule and see how we can apply it to our lives. 

“Speak not but what may benefit others…”

            I see this in two ways. 

1.                     Not talking about other people (i.e. gossip).  When we talk it is often easy to talk about someone else.  If the focus is on another person, our faults and inadequacies are overlooked, at least for the moment.  There is intrigue in other people’s lives, the unknown behind closed doors.  That infamous bait and capture technique, “Did you hear…?”, pulls too many well-intentioned friends into a spiral of gossip and opened cans of worms.  I think the best way to implement the idea of not harming others by what we say is to switch roles.  I know I would not want someone talking about me and spreading things that may not be true.  Gossip has a way of exaggerating the thing being talked about.  The way I use this in my life is to stop and think before I speak.  I ask myself, “I am hurting anyone with what I am about to say?”  or “Is this a kind thing to say?”  If it is not, or my conscience shakes her finger,  I don’t say it.  The self-control of refraining from passing along “information” isn’t easy at first, but every time you stop yourself from saying something unbeneficial, you gain more control of the tongue for the next time.

2.                     We can benefit others by the ideas we share with them.  I started using Burt’s Bees face wash and really like it.  The minimal and natural ingredients feel better on my face than the face wash that has 30 ingredients that I cannot pronounce.  So, I showed my mom and suggested she try it out.  I thought she could get benefit from this product and I couldn’t keep that to myself.  When Craig finds a new website or reads an interesting article, he usually shares it with me so we can talk about it.  He sees where I could benefit from the information so he shares it.  Speaking about beneficial ideas only enriches the conversation.  If you think someone would be better off knowing the information you have, share it! 

“… Or yourself.”

            I have choked on the foot in my mouth many times. If I find myself in a situation outside of my comfort zone I often speak with nervous chatter.   However, this approach often lacks sincerity and depth.  I have had to work on being comfortable in quiet situations, knowing that I can speak when the time is right.  If there is nothing to say at that moment, that is okay!  I offer no benefit to others or myself if I talk just to talk.  I have had to work on being okay with silence.  I enjoy those quiet times now.  It provides a moment to think and reflect.  Silence allows you to speak to your soul.            

“Avoid trifling conversation.”

            Insignificant conversation is tiring and doesn’t offer much to your listener.  There is no intellectual growth or wisdom given by talking about the weather or another person’s drama.  Instead of talking about others, I find that talking of ideas and dreams makes for great conversation.  When this exchange is made, each person leaves the encounter better off.  Eleanor Roosevelt avoided trifling dialogue.  Whether this was an old proverb or her own words, she sums this point up when she said, “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people.”

I do not claim to live out this virtue perfectly.  I have to work on Silence everyday.   I believe that we all need silence in our lives.  Our inner selves speak the loudest during these quiet times.  The pursuit of mastering these virtues is the fun part.  By striving to incorporate them into our daily living, we will be better off for the attempt. 

Live well,

Laura

Temperance (Part of Our Principle Series)

Benjamin's Rule:
              "Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation"


The Issue:
 
        So what's the problem here? We all love to eat, and many like to drink, but when is too much really too much. As we watch our colleges pump out graduate after graduate who know more about liquor counts than statistics, and we watch the statistics of diseases such as diabetes get ever more gloomier, it is hard not to hear this message ringing loud and clear. It is not so much a matter of substances, but rather about our ability to control them and use them in a way that gives us pleasure, and not pain. It is a matter of having the ability to forfeit short-term low value pleasures, for long-term high value success's.

The Method:

       Of course, there are many ways to battle the things that you have trouble controlling; ranging from medication, to therapy, to support groups, and any combination of these. When I began to realize that drinking could be a problem in my life, and that I had to make a decision about the direction I was going to take my family, it became ever more clear that I was the maker of this map. My solution was to first pull myself away from the influences that promoted my bad behaviour. This required me to skip a lot of social gatherings with a lot of my friends at the the time, and the loneliness of not getting the phone calls and of being at home on a Friday night no doubt got irksome at times. What is interesting is that once you begin to change your routine and your habits, you quickly find friends who like and do similar things. It did not take long to find people who did not have to get plastered on a Friday to have a good time, and the refreshing feeling of waking up with a clear mind on Saturday cannot go underestimated.

      Once I began to root this nasty habit out of my life, all of a sudden, I had a lot more time, and since my mind was clear I was able to use it in ways which consistently make me better. Wanting to constantly keep reaching for higher goals, I started to seek out mentors who could show me not only how to promote good, normal behavior, but also guide me in the pursuit of higher success. If you have never had a mentor, it is essential. With that being said I will leave that for another post.

The Benefit:

      So why drop your friends who encourage you to drink one more beer? Why put down the second hamburger and ice cream cone? Because we need YOU here. The world is screaming out for healthy, clear-minded, and reliable leaders to take on the challenges of society. There are tremendous personal benefits to be gained from Tempering your habits, but the freedom from addiction or complacency can give you the motivation to go out and do something great. Help somebody out, read a book, take a class, build a bridge, build a community, take charge of a project, learn a new hobby. We need YOU to be YOU, and in my opinion that is the greatest reason.

Peace
Craig

Good Nights

From "Babywise" to "Sleep Like a Pro" to "Get Your Baby to Sleep in Just 3 Easy Steps", there are multitudes of approaches to getting your baby to that first full night of sleep.  I admit, I read them prior to Hannah's birth.  In writing and in theory the promise of a full night's sleep by the baby's second week of life sounded great.  They promised if you just followed their guidelines the household would be happy and well rested.  Needles to say, week two came and went and mama and Hannah were still having our 3 am meetings.  All three of us began to see that that cookie-cutter philosophy wasn't working for the Hargrove's.  What the books leave out is that every child is different (duh) and a 2 week old has no concept of routine or schedule and, in my newly formed opinion on the matter, doesn't need to.  The concept of routine doesn't come until months later.  The forced wake-play-sleep cycle wasn't fitting into our groove.  What we began to see was that we were forming our own groove.  We observed Hannah's behavior and what was working best for her.  Calm nights, slow feedings, and lots of night-time attention put her out like a little light.  By 2 months Hannah is going down easily and readily and sleeping until mama gets breakfast ready and milked pumped, which is usually by 6:30 a.m.  We weren't following any books or putting checks on a 3 step checklist.  We simply were going with our flow and it was working.  Hannah is well rested and mama and daddy are wide-eyed and bushy tailed come morning.

I think every family, and individual, must search to find what works best for them, regardless of what the books say you should do.  Why live out another person's philosophy?  I'm not saying refrain form reading.  Heck no! Read, read, read!!!  However, I think it is harmful to expect Life to work exactly like the words on a page.  You may end up disappointed every time you go to implement the author's strategy.  Take what you like, apply it, and then observe.  Write your own how-to book.  Live your life the best way YOU can live it.  We will fail every time we try to be someone else or live someones else's ideas.  BUT we are each GREAT at being ourselves!  Around here, and not even knowing it, we were writing our very own sleep book.  With the help of Dr. Suess and the yawns of Van Vleek, Hannah is sleeping so well we don't hear a peep.

Let us know what life story you are writing!

Happy trails,
Laura    

Today........

Today I begin a new phase in my life
For body, for mind, for baby, for wife
Today I begin with my own end in mind
My dreams they are set, right now is my time

So conquer the sea and shatter the earth
Funny how life can start with a kiss and a birth
And as I drive on in my own chosen way
I'll pay little mind to the nays you may say

So put on my socks and sit back in my chair
Brew this mornings coffee and comb back my hair
Today I begin to carve my own way
It's the same brand new start that I make everyday.


Peace
Craig

Fear of our Fears

"Anxiety is nothing but re-experiencing our failures in advance"
-Seth Godin

As I prepared today for an important meeting I continuously sought the mirror to check my outfit, my notes to practice my speech, and the clock to check the time. Sure that I would have a bugger protrude from my nose, or a misdirected word stumble from my bumbling lips, I started to become a fear projecting prophet of my own demise.

Why do we do these things to ourselves? Why is the curling iron always presumed to be left on when driving towards Galveston Island? Why do monsters only hide in closets at night? Why do we assume we will fail if we follow our own path?

Anxiety is really nothing more than practicing for failure, and as long as that is what we practice that is what our results will most often be.

There is legitimate room for real fear. Such things like surviving in the jungle, running from a grizzly bear, and watching a tornado barrel towards our homes. But, do we really think that getting up to turn the outside light on will spook off the burglars who were hiding in our bushes, and then proceed to check every window in the house just in case they keep snooping.

Anxiety is simply our fear of fear, and how we embrace it makes all the difference. Two ways

1. You let it in. You seek out reassurance. You triple check that mirror. You look for 5 proof readers before posting that blog (mine is non-proofread). You do all of these things hoping that somebody will find a flaw, or a mistake, and that you will have a good excuse to keep practicing, and not bring your talent to market. It is that Resistance that keeps you from being great. That stinky little lizard brain that wants you to be mediocre, and self conscious, and scared of a world in which, if you tried, you could kick serious ASS.

2. You can just sit with it. Look at it. Explore it. Laugh at it. Sure this sounds easy, and it's not, I know that, but that's why I am writing it. Because it is not easy, but we all face it. Like I said it is that lizard brain, and we all have it. But, if you can accept that there is no reward for worriers, move past your fears, and bring your talents to the market, I promise you those anxious fears will never produce, and the YOU that shows up will be well worth the initial discomfort.

So what did I do this morning? I told my lizard brain to bite it. I removed my gaze from the mirror. I tossed my notes in the trash, I knew what I wanted to say without them. Anxiety took a backseat to the artist within me.

Peace
Craig

A Call From the Wild

I am so glad Craig introduced you to the furriest member of our family (Thanks, dearest).  When Craig and I spontaneously decided to get a dog 2 years ago, we never would have thought the brown ball of fur would change our lives, but she did.  Dating for just a few months, but oh so in love, it seemed a dog was the next step in our relationship.  You know that, “This-is-pretty-serious-so let’s-get-a-dog” stage.  Craig trained her and I picked up the potted plant debris she too often drug from the balcony into the living room.  She eventually understood when mama says, “Kennel” she means, “Get in your kennel NOW!”  Kohna brought us to the humble abode we live in today.  The adorable pup we brought home that February night was growing into a rather large brown dog and the apartment carpet could withstand no more potting soil.  So off we set looking for a cute house that had a yard.  We found one, Kohna approved, and here we are today.

She loves sticks, jumping in Kent and Sheri’s pool in any season, and catching grapes in the air.  Her free time includes taste-testing strangers tomato plants, playing Frisbee, and, as Craig mentioned, walking me.  She loves riding with the windows down and taking hiking trips (She even carries her own backpack.)  Kohna is kind to all things, including the squirrel that drinks out of her water bowl and the kitten we had for a brief period of time.  When we first brought Hannah home Kohna was a bit puzzled at this small thing that cried and received the majority of “her” mom’s attention.  The first few weeks Kohna just sniffed Hannah and gave me a look that seemed to say, “What exactly is that thing you are holding and why aren’t you ready for our walk?”  But, as with all things, that stage has passed and Kohna has welcomed Hannah into the family.  Hannah’s head often smells like Kohna breath from the kisses Kohna gives her sister.  I want to instill a sense of humanity into Hannah and I have no doubt Kohna will assist me in this endeavor. 

So now that you know Kohna, I would like to share a poem Craig found on one of our favorite websites.  Art of Manliness provides readers, both men and women, with tools and advice on how to be a man.  Things from “How to Choose Dress Socks” to “Hero Training: The Chase Down a Purse Snatcher workout” to manly skills such as “Manly Ways to Reuse and Altoids Can”, this website has it all.  I even learned how to properly iron a dress shirt.  Now, I just need to practice this skill.  But, back to the poem… I have read this poem over and over again.  It really speaks to me on not limiting my life to the four walls around me.  The things I have not seen should not evoke gloom because I have not experienced them yet, rather stimulate me to discover the Earth’s beauty in its many forms.  I hope you enjoy this poem as much as we have.  Hannah may not understand the meaning quite yet, but she smiles when I read it and that is worth the breath. 

Call of the Wild

By: Robert W. Service

Have you gazed on naked grandeur,

Where there’s nothing else to gaze on,

Set pieces and drop-curtain scenes galore,

Big mountains heaved to heaven, which the

Blinding sunsets blazon,

Black canyons where the rapids rip and roar?

Have you swept the visioned valley with the

Green stream streaking through it,

Searched the Vastness for a something you have lost?

Have you strung your soul to silence?

Then for God’s sake go and do it;

Hear the challenge, learn the lesson, pay the cost.

Have you wandered in the wilderness, the sagebrush desolation,

The bunch-grass levels where the cattle graze?

Have you whistled bits of ragtime at the end of all creation,

And learned to know the desert’s little ways?

Have you camped upon the foothills,

Have you galloped o’er the ranges,

Have you roamed the arid sun-lands through and through?

Have you chummed up with mesa?

Do you know its moods and changes

Then listen to the Wild – it’s calling you.

Have you known the Great White Silence,

Not a snow-gemmed twig aquiver?

(Eternal truths that shame our soothing lies.)

Have you broken trail on snowshoes?

Mushed your huskies up the river,

Dared the unknown, led the way, and clutched the prize?

Have you marked the map’s void spaces,

Mingled with the mongrel races,

Felt the savage strength of brute in every thew?

And though grim as hell the worst is,

Can you round it off with curses?

Then hearken to the Wild – it’s wanting you.

Have you suffered, starved, and triumphed,

Groveled down, yet grasped at glory,

Grown bigger in the bigness of the whole?

“Done thing” just for doing, letting babblers tell the story,

Seeing through the nice veneer the naked soul?

Have you seen God in His splendors,

Heard the text that nature renders?

(You’ll never hear it in the family pew.”

The simple things, the true things, the silent men who DO things –

Then listen to the Wild – it’s calling you,

They have cradled you in custom,

They have primed you with their preaching,

They have soaked you in convention through and through;

They have put you in a showcase;

You’re a credit to their teaching –

But can’t you hear the Wild – it’s calling you.

Let us probe the silent places,

Let us seek what luck betide us;

Let us journey to a lonely land I know. 

There’s a whisper on the night-wind,

There’s a star agleam to guide us,

And the Wild is calling, calling… let us go.    

Kohna The Barbarian!!!

So, I just wanted to introduce everybody to the baby you all might not have known we had. Her name is Kohna. She lives in our monkey grass, runs with rubber tires (are there any other kind?) over her eyes, pulls Laura down the street in search of her favorite "fecal corner," and holds an extremely important place in the heart of our family.

Kohna in its correct spelling is an Indian census town named Jhusi Kohna with a population of a little over 16,000, literacy rate of 72%, and a very very sweet name.

But, the origination started from the combination of 4 of our favorite things.

1. Kona is a large district in Hawaii, and it derives its name from from having so many Kona's; which are strong westardly winds. If you listen to Jack Johnson you may hear him refer to our dog named Kona in his song Constellations when he sings:

                         "The west winds often last too long,
                           and when they come down, 
                           nothing ever feels the same".


2. Kona Brewery. We love beer. Beer loves us. And we named our dog to remind us that it is passion that motivates.

3.Kona Coffee. If you love beer, you must love coffee. Enough said.

4. Kona Bicycles. This is to remind me of the time that I drank a bunch of Kona beer at night, woke up to bring Laura some Kona coffee, and while riding my bicycle to meet her I flipped over the handle bars because I did not see the curb. This was not a Kona bicycle, but the story is fitting.

So, now you have a little biography about our baby Kohna. I would have let her tell her own story, but when I let her sit in the chair to start typing it came out like this: oerhgGHORUewgroiH

Peace

A Little Chicken With Chicken Little

Friday night rolls around again, and instead of hopping in the local Chili's, which Hannah only lets us do on her watch, we decided to cook a good ole' American dinner. Trying to mix Laura's passion for pepper with my quest for the perfect margarita, we fired up a couple of recipes that would never spoil the moment.

Classic Lemon Pepper Chicken

This dish is easy, engaging, and pretty low cost. We cooked it out on the grill, and would sugest you try it in a skillet. We laid it across a mound of angela hair pasta and served it next to a bundle of asparugus topped with a balsamic sauce.

Beer 'Garita

So this is my part. He said they were good, anything containing 2 cups of tequilla must be good for something. Really, it was a great way to bring together our two favorite summer drinks the beer and the margarita, and we think you should try one soon. BUT, remember temperance is the virue that garners strength.

Laura always seems to have it layed out in such a perfect order and I come and splash olive oil all over the ceiling.  It's the unity in cooking that gives it balance and not the food that's produced.  What recipes do you like?  How about we try yours and you try ours.  Email us your favorite recipes to  laurancraig@gmail.com

Open Thy Eyes

“To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But for those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away.”

Matthew 25:29

This popular, and simple, scripture rings in our ears as we approach all the ideas we have for being parents, and try to define our purpose in family and life. This fusion between who we are, what we want, and how we will achieve it has always been a discussion between the two of us (Craig & Laura), so we chose to make this the topic of our first bi-authored blog. So here we go.

It is funny how something that is such a common conversation can become such a complicated experience to portray on paper. Laura and I have always sought out the so-called “meaning” in life, and when we replied our vows we dedicated ourselves to a shared purpose, or at least dedication to the pursuit of purpose.

The real reason for writing this blog is to try to encourage anyone who is going, wants to go, or has gone through this process. The process of growing up, the process of embracing change, the process of being happy, the process of changing the world, or any other process by which you choose to devote your time. And, to give our testimony to how it truly is a partnership of patience and discipline that is required.

So where did we start? Benjamin Franklin. In his autobiography, Franklin gives a first hand account of his impoverished childhood, how he wanted to escape, and the means by which he provided for himself the ability to be one of the greatest figures in the nation. The backbone of this methodology is wrapped around the virtues he felt, that if practiced, would have the power to synchronize his beliefs with his actions. The 13 virtues mentioned below will be a topic of our blogs from here-to-there, and we hope they serve as references to your own education.

1.     Temperance: Eat not to dullness; drink not to elation.

2.     Silence: Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.

3.     Order: Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.

4.     Resolution: Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.

5.     Frugality: Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; waste nothing.

6.     Industry: Lose no time. Be always employed in something useful. Cut off all unnecessary actions.

7.     Sincerity: Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.

8.     Justice: Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.

9.     Moderation: Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.

10. Cleanliness: Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes, or habitation.

11. Tranquility: Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.

12. Chastity: Rarely use venery, but for health or offspring (We believe in being very healthy), never to dullness (Dullness?), weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s piece or reputation.

13. Humility: Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

Disclaimer: Some of these definitions are extreme, WE KNOW, but, like extremely dramatic movies, we have to be given some excitement to spark our actions. If you lived exactly like this list challenges, you would most definitely have no facebook friends, and they really just serve as a guide to better our behavior. Most, if just performed in their most common sense way; i.e. save some money, don’t cheat on your wife, be nice to people, don’t booze too much, etc, will make for great one word reminders.

- Craig and Laura

S.M.I.L.E.

     How does this picture make you feel? Does it make you smile? If your day was down in the dumps and this smile greeted you on your way home from the office would it make the drive home easier? The power of  an unplanned and courteous smile often has the ability to make a bad situation better, and heavy situation lighter, and a cloudy day brighter. So, where does this beauty of life go as we pass into our "adult" life? At what point do we replace the smile to a stranger to show them we care with the constant internal burden of our own situation.

     That spirit does not have to be lost, and maybe with the help from the acronym (S.M.I.L.E.) to remind you of some perfect time to bling your Pearlie's you can spread some unexpected joy to an unsuspecting stranger.

     S is for STRANGERS. Yes these are the boogie men that we are taught to not take candy from as a child, but as adults we should learn to drop this avoidance of our neighbors and learn to embrace them for the similar struggles they fight every day. For the most part people are GOOD, but never taking the time to get to know new people we often lose faith in our fellows. A quick smile can be the perfect instigation of a handshake, that may just lead to a new best friend, and at least a lifted spirit.

     M is for the MEDIA and all the hate it spews. The next time your T.V. or radio blurts out with the latest figures on death and destruction, just sit back and take in a big smile about all the good in the world. Here is an even better idea. Pick up a book, read, and smile about all of your new knowledge.

     I is for the IGNORANCE of the unavoidable people that you will come into conflict with. We are not all meant to be alike and this comes with one giant consequence: WE ARGUE. Arguments happen and often a little conflict is healthy. But always be able to drop the battle, put on a smile, and apologize for any harmful words or actions.

     L is for LOVE. The great uniter of men and women, parents and children, rich and poor. Without this essential feeling towards mankind society does not exist. The day that greed, malice, and self-indulgence take over the rule of love all hope may be lost. This may sound mushy gushy, but love is far more powerful than roses and high school dances. It is that quiet and powerful ember, by whose spark is ignited by the power of faith and devotion, that allows all great accomplishments to be accomplished.

    E is for EXCELLENCE. When people do great things be proud of them. Do not covet the properties of another man, and let not what you work for be stolen by the envious. Excellence is achieved through discipline, hard work, and devotion, and these are traits we should all work to emulate. When you witness greatness be sure to always give a smile and a wink.

    Craig P Hargrove

Cooing and Ahhing

My first Mother’s Day was a beautiful one.  Hannah has been “cooing” for some time, but now she is making a variety of noises that are so fun to listen to.  She smiles back when Craig or I smile and talk to her.  She is very interested in her environment, taking everything in with those big, blue eyes of hers.  She is attracted to bright lights, ceiling fans, and is fascinated with trees.  With the windy spring days our “tree time” is quite fun.  Being a teacher and having an appreciation of the learning process, it is extremely rewarding to watch Hannah process her world.  Getting to know more of her personality and temperament, I predict she will be very assertive.  When Hannah wants to let you know she needs something, she really lets you know.  So far, there is nothing shy about her. 

Craig and I believe in the importance of teaching Hannah she is in charge of her destiny.  As her parents, we are to educate her and give her the tools we feel see needs to make it as an independent woman some day, but ultimately she is her own person, free to make her own decisions.  Based off the principled way we will raise her, we hope those decisions are good ones.  The best thing we can provide her is a strong familial foundation.  Our example will speak the loudest when it comes to teaching her what to do.  If we want her to eat healthy and be an active child, what better way to teach this than to live it ourselves?  If we want her to be honest and respect all humans, we must be honest and respect others first.  It is not always easy, but we try to live with no contradictions.  Our choices and actions align with our chosen values and beliefs.  We hope Hannah will see this and put it into action in her own life.  And possibly challenge us to be even better individuals.  

Saturday a friend of mine and I participated in Urban Dare, an Amazing Race style scavenger hunt in Dallas.  We were given a list of clues and we had to answer them, then find the location of the answer and get to it.  Once there, you take your picture or do a dare and go on to the next place.  We had a blast and only got really lost once.  It was a cool way to see downtown; that is on foot.  We didn’t win, but we didn’t come in last either.  All in all, we walked about 4 miles, found some new places to go back and visit, and had a great conversation on our mini journey.    

I’ll be writing more this week so keep checking in.  Out the door now for a little exercise. Good for the mind and body.  

Peace

6 Weeks Today!

Hello again!  Today marks 6 weeks since Hannah's birth.  She is doing awesome in my opinion.  We have had multiple nights where she has slept from 11:00 pm until 5:00 am!  Hallelujah!  We are really starting to notice her patterns and mannerisms and loving getting to know more about our little angel.  Her morning feedings are followed by a little dad time before he goes to work and then butterfly time.  The butterflies are on the mobile her Mimi got her and she absolutely loves them!  She follows each one until she can't see it anymore and then, hello, another one appears.  She is surprised every time a new butterfly appears.  I just stand and watch her.  She smiles her big smile and it makes my day.  There is nothing better than seeing your child happy.  A moment God grants us parents as reassurance that LIFE IS GOOD.  Hannah is starting to make new noises.  They mostly resemeble a "coo" or a bird's "squeak".  She is definitly trying to talk to us.  Mama gave her her first feel of the grass.  I just let her little feetsies touch the cool ground.  We will be spending a lot of time outdoors as she gets older.  I'm just preparing her early!  

For Easter we packed up (a lot of bags) and headed east to Hideaway Lake.  Kent and Sheri have a beautiful lake house there.  No easter egg hunts this year, but she'll be ready to find an egg or two come next year.  We had a good time and Hannah reeeealy enjoyed the long car ride.  

If you don't care to read or talk about politics, stop here.  However if you'd like to hear about a pretty cool dude possibly running for President read on.  Craig and I are following the progress of the potential 2012 Presidential candidate, Ron Paul.  He is a republican from Texas with a unusually large "young" following.  He is the leading advocate for restoring real freedom and liberty for our country.  He stands for limited government and a return to sound monetary policies.  He advocates the individual's rights.  If it's your business, the government should stay out of it.  Personal or public business.  He believes that our country should be run by following the Constitution and principles laid out by our forefathers.  Real benefits can only come from following principles.  Craig is reading his book, The Revolution, and I just started reading his latest book, Liberty Defined.  I will post my ideas on the book and I'm sure Craig will post a few blogs on this subject as well.  

I also started piano lessons today.  I had splayed when I was younger, but never took it serious.  I did well for my first day back and am so excited to practice and get better.  I am starting with the same book I sued 15 years ago!  It's awesome!  With good practice and patience I can jam with Craig when he plays his guitar and someday soon Hannah can sing!    

Well, my time to write is up!  Hannah is ready to eat.  Thanks for reading.

Be Happy

Laura   

Just Scrap It!

We have all seen them in one fashion, or another; the cash for cans depot, the neighborhood junk man, or the towering piles rusted Iron piled high off-side the freeway. I am a "junk-man" by birth, and I have been around the metal recycling industry my entire life, but few outside our circle know much about our business and the unique problems it solves.

Laura and I, not known for idle time, have set out on an experiment inside the life of the true "junkman," the man who, truck and trailer, goes in search of the worlds unrecognized recyclables in hopes of hauling in a good enough "load" to bring home the bacon. This man, in his dirty overalls and mesh back hat, recycles more material himself than a common city street combined, and is very rarely admired for his work. Being around these type of men my whole life, but never really being in their situation, we set out to get a feel of how hard it really is to "Just Scrap By'"

The basis of the experiment is simple. Attach trailer to truck ----- drive and pick up metal bearing objects ------ sell these objects to local junk yard for money. Of course there are more details involved, but for the sake of explanation they are not relevant to YOU. Listed below are a few things we have learned.

Awareness
We, as a community, throw away a ton of things that could easily be re-used. For example this is what we were able to collect in one weekend
       1,000lb of Iron
          100lb of electric motors
           46lb  of insulated copper wire
           20lb  of copper
           10lb of brass
            46lb car battery
           25lb aluminum (this includes cans as well)

That is 1,257lb of items people were simply ready to throw away, material we would possibly lose forever because of unawareness. Despite what views you may hold of global warming it is hard to argue that something should be done to counteract our negligence when it comes to such waste. This may be a combination of education to make people aware and facilities that make it easily accessible.

Humility
Nobody wants to dig in the trash, especially me, but unfortunately this is where all of this stuff is for the "junkman." We often do not see his rummaging as a virtue, but this man takes your trash and turns it into food for his family, and maybe a beer or two. Once I realized what he had to bear in order to obtain his "load" I was instantly turned to respect his pursuit of sustenance and renewal.

It's Fairly Practical
It really is pretty easy to pick up your neighbors trash and turn it into a little cash. We use it for extra money to buy top shelf margaritas and new hand bags, but it may be the perfect idea if you are strapped to make the bills. If you think it's below you to recycle trash and keep the world constantly renewing simply drop your pride, you are doing a good thing.

So this is just a small view into the beginning of our experiment, and I hope you share similar experiments that you have done with us. As always, we greatly encourage your feedback and look forward to your comments.

Craig

What's Love Got To Do With It?

This weekend was a great one.   One of those weekends that rejuvenates the soul, giving you a spark to start your week and get busy with plans for the future.  Yesterday we decided to embark on a 20-mile route names “Antique Alley”.  The “alley” spans from Maypearl to Grandview and is overflowing with “treasures” along the county roads.  Craig is searching for a stand-up desk, the very studious desks that can be custom made to suit your physical needs and intellectual desires.  He spends quality time at our current desk, setting goals, writing thoughts, downloading our favorite songs on iTunes, and thinking.   The productive work done at this desk warrants consensus that a new oak finished drawing table is within our purchasing guidelines.  So, out we set, after about 2 hours of getting ready, on our antique adventure.  The backseat of the Jeep works wonders for Hannah’s sleep routine.  With Jewel playing an acoustic version of “You Were Meant For Me” the Hargrove’s were off to find treasures. 

A little on the topic of music… Music has always intrigued me.  The way a melody can seep into the soul and transform a moment is inspiring to me.  I fell in love with Craig for his virtuous ambitions and his good soul, but his striking good looks and his ability to serenade me on the guitar was just icing on my red-velvet cake.  He and I both have an appreciation of music and musicians.  Music is a medium he and I both draw upon to either stimulate our senses or calm our mind.  He can tell you what music means to him as I do not want to put words in his mouth, but I know we both enjoy a really good guitar rift or a multifaceted verse to accompany our moments in time. 

From our window seat, the “Antique Alley” began to look like the world’s largest garage sale and no stand-up desks were in sight.  We kept driving, enjoying the view of the billboard-free back roads and the pleasant conversation.  Hannah slept the entire trip, but I’m sure she could hear mama and daddy making plans and discussing ideas.  We never stopped and got out along our route, but rather drove for miles just talking and singing songs.  I realized that this is what makes Craig and I who we are as a couple.  We enjoy our time with each other no matter where we are or where the road takes us.  We have our own flow and go with it.  Hannah seems to fancy our flow too.  So we didn't find any treasures, but we definitely made our own.   

Craig is my partner, my Life Companion and I am so thankful for him everyday.  He is my best friend and the person I choose for my co-pilot on any adventure that awaits me.  He knows me more than anyone and (still) loves me for all I am and desire to be.  I know him, his strengths, weaknesses, hopes and fears and his ability to envision a better way and love him for all he is.  I hope our sincere soul-ship and respect for another will become a light for Hannah.  If we offer nothing else, I have no doubt she will know she is loved and her parents love each other deeply.  And with love like that she can move mountains.  

Our day adventure ended with Hannah waking up ready to eat just as we pulled onto our street and Bob Dylan singing “Shelter From the Storm”…

“And suddenly I turned around and she was standing there,

with silver bracelets on her wrists and flowers in her hair.

She walked up to me so gracefully and took my crown of thorns,

“Come here,” she said “I’ll give you shelter from the storm.”

Daddy Here

Hello everyone! This is my first post and you may find me dropping in from time-to-time giving my reflections on the fam. We are having a blast and learning each day, and I have yet to find what people are referring to when they speak on the burden of child raising. Most of the trouble seems to come externally, and not internally.

I was asked last night by a friend what the biggest change I had encountered and how it made me feel; they wanted to know about me and not necessarily familial changes. The most obvious thing that has changed has been the succession of the many little hobbies I have (reading, writing, fighting, browsing, taking things apart and not putting them back together, half finished woodworking projects), all of which I have find considerably less time for. But, what I found hard to answer was the part on how it makes me feel, because truly I had not considered the effects of their disposal.

Hobbies are an incredibly important part of mans life, resting right along side exercise, diet, sex, spirituality, and success, and the man without them often finds himself a wretch. We are made to produce, when we don't we contradict our nature. But, they are interchangeable and hobbies of equal satisfaction can easily replace the hobby that given up. This is how I look at Hannah. She is my new and most gratifying hobby. She is what I currently do when I am not working.

I still read, but my reading has taken on a new perspective as reading always does. Unlike the boob-tube books have a way of transforming to meet your current situation. I love to read biographies and used to pick them up for the purpose of finding those unique qualities in men that gave them the ability to render great services to society. Now I read about men like Alexander the Great, Theodore Roosevelt, Aristotle, and Frankenstein to find the unique virtues that allowed them to be great partners. Partners to my wife, to my daughter, to my colleagues, and to all others that I meet. There is no doubt that the tremendous power books had on my desire to "change the world," will be any less with my desire to raise a daughter. Do you know what history teaches you? It's all going to be alright, focus on the solution and not the problem, look ahead and not down, fight for whats right, and LIVE your life for SOMETHING. You only get one shot.

So, to sum all of that up; I am unchanged. I do not regret dropped hobbies, because my new one holds much richer rewards for all of man kind. The greatest thing I can do for the world is raise a solid child. The rest is icing on my cake.

Thanks to EVERYONE for all that you do, and keep reading. Give us feedback and ideas. We welcome all opinions, because it only makes us stronger. WE LOVE ALL OF YOU!

8 lb Chicken Nugget

Today I took Hannah to get a weight check. I just wanted to make sure that our love child has been getting enough of her mama’s milk.  Well, she has gone from 7 lbs 7 oz at birth to a whopping 8 lbs 9 oz!  Whoo hoo!  I like to give everything pet names, which usually change day by day.  Today Hannah is my (8 pound) chicken nugget!  It makes me smile and she can’t oppose my pet names just yet, so I’ll go with it! 

As my worry subsided as the little scale surpassed the 8 lb mark, I realized that all I well in Hannah’s new world.  This mom gig is new to me and I can’t help but want to know she is getting all she needs, but I also realize I cannot allow worry to hinder the joy each day brings us.  Worry too often becomes a heavy fog, like that over a cool body of water on a warm spring morning.  Above the fog is a beautiful day waiting to be lived, but if one remains too long lost in the hollow the sunrise is missed.  Each day with Hannah is a beautiful new sunrise and I’m going to try to not let worry get in our way!  She has a beautiful head of hair like her daddy’s, her skin is glowing, her eyes wide with wonder, and we are going through plenty of diapers.  She is thriving and full of life! 

Last night Craig was reading to Hannah from our book of poems.  He read Whitman, Frost and Edgar Allan Poe’s “Annabel Lee”.  Hannah listens intently when her dad reads to her.  She stares at him and takes it all in.  They are quite the pair to watch together.  She has a wonderful daddy. 

Hannah’s first “party” is tonight.  Our Sunday School group is throwing her a shower.   We have really enjoyed this new group.  We are able to discuss current events and issues as they relate to the bible and Christianity.  We often get off on tangents and that makes it even more fun.  The group is great and very supportive of Craig and I as new parents.  Hannah has been to out last two classes.  She hangs out in her carrier and listens to all the voices.  I will let you know how the party goes.  She’s already wearing her party pants. 

The Purpose

Hello to all!  Thank you for visiting our new blog.  Craig and I wanted to give family and friends something to check out and keep up with our family.  If you are reading this, you probably are aware of the arrival of Hannah Leigh Hargrove, our precious "made in Mexico" honeymoon souvenir.  She was born on March 18, 2011 at 6:28 am and has been the main attraction of our lives for the past three weeks and 5 days.  Wow!  Time has gone by so fast!  That being said, the purpose of this blog is to let you all know how Miss Hannah is doing, the adventures our family undertake, and any new ideas we have to share.

As you see the title of our blog is, "With Our Own Two Hands".  This title is from Ben Harper's song which encourages one to use their own two hands to make positive change in this world.  We can all do something!  As I hold Hannah at those current 3:00 a.m. feedings, I see that I can change the world with my own two hands by giving her the tools she needs to make her world better.  Then, when she is ready, her own two hands will make a difference.

Craig, Hannah, and myself are learning new things everyday.  Hannah - about her new world, Craig and I - about the bliss of being parents while balancing the life that we had created before she arrived.  I have learned that I do not need the whole seven hours of sleep I once thought I needed.  Somehow God implants a sleep system in new parents that allows them to function on far less sleep.  We have learned that the "swaddle" looked so much easier at the hospital, but thanks to SwaddleMe we can successfully make Hannah look like a comfortable baby mummy (and like she's going to a toga party when she get an arm out).

We will keep this blog updated with pictures and posts as often as we can.  Craig and I will both write, sometimes about Hannah and our family and other times about our ideas and what we're doing!  We hope you enjoy reading this and may you too use your own two hands!!!!!